GotGame: E for All 2008: Review of Foodstuffs and Drinkthings
October 9, 2008 by Jillian Werner, GotGame
Gamer Grub: “Boost Your Brain”
Gamer Grub had great potential, as it was handed out in abundant, never-ending free sample form, perfect for those of us who are broke from miscalculated cockfights. There are four flavors available: Action Pizza, Strategy Chocolate, Racing Wasabi, and Sports PB&J. Kyle, Joey and myself each chose one, leaving Racing Wasabi to reconsider its place in the world of potentially delicious food-snacks.
Joey on Action Pizza: “Action Pizza: Usually I’m skeptical of seasoning that is meant to capture the flavor of an entire dish. I mean sure, Nacho Cheese Flavor makes sense, but I doubt the accuracy of French Consomme-flavored things. Luckily, I make a huge exception for Pizza-flavored things. If you’re a fan of Pizza-licious Pringles (if you’re not, you should reevaluate your lifestyle), Action Pizza should please you. Addendum: Though tasty, I question the snack’s ability to introduce more action into my life. Probably a good thing since I can’t stand cheesy dialogue and mediocre plots.”
Kyle on Sports PB&J: “Eating Sports PB&J is a little like hitting a strip club with Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones. You know it’s a bad idea, and utterly demeaning to everyone involved, but it doesn’t feel quite as bad as it sounds once you’re there (until the shooting begins). The list of ingredients is about as lazy as they come – ‘Peanuts, Peanut Butter Chips, Strawberry Jelly Chips, Bread Cubes’ – but it’s actually not bad. Just think of it as extreme trail mix that you can slam back to celebrate stuffing your best friend’s weak-ass fake punt on 4th and 1 in the Maroon Zone.”
Jillian on Strategy Chocolate: “I always wanted salt on my chocolate before, but was afraid to take that final step into definite death by hypertension. Now that Gamer Grub has done it for me, I have no choice but to obey. It was the saltiest chocolate I’ve ever had, and thus, the most delicious. Please send flowers and more Strategy Chocolate to Good Samaritan Hospital, care of…”